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Cuban Fizzle Crisis: Shark Tank Star and Rachel Maddow Look-Alike Nixes Presidential Run in 2028

AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez

Note: The following story contains satire.

I’ve been living for this moment. Ok, not really. Mark Cuban, of Shark Tank and Dallas Mavericks fame, has officially joined the ranks of hundreds of millions of other Americans who are not running for president in 2028. Well, darn!

Here’s more. (READ)

Tens of people (including me) thought he was using his cringey ‘Principles First Summit’ to test the presidential waters. Apparently, he stuck his toe in and screamed, ‘Too cold!’

It’s probably smart to not blow billions on a failed presidential campaign as a Democrat candidate right now. I have to agree with posters who say the Dems are going to be checked out for a while.

Some commenters were horrified of Cuban and his studious, Rhodes scholar, lesbian aesthetic being in the White House. 

Cuban wouldn’t have stood a chance but we can still dream of Rachel Maddow being the official decoy of President Mark Cuban. The resemblance is uncanny. See if you agree. (WATCH)

In the lead-up to the the 2024 presidential election, Cuban was ranting on X daily proving extreme wealth doesn’t equate to intelligence.

That said, Cuban is smart enough to know his soy-riddled persona would be no match for presumed Republican presidential nominee, JD Vance.

Commenters have some closing thoughts and observations.

Don’t fret, Cuban has years of embarrassment ahead of him. Alas, it won’t be as a Democrat Party presidential nominee in 2028. Still, there's always 2032.

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