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Tick Tock: President Joe Biden Has Mere Hours to Announce His Promised Cure for Cancer

AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin

Note: The following story contains satire.

The hours are ticking down and many on X are waiting to see if President Joe Biden is going to deliver on his promise to cure cancer. Biden made the promise on the campaign trail back in 2019.

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Does this look like a man who would lie to the American people about something so important?

No, everyone knows the word of a Biden can never be broken. Right, Hunter?

In fact, Biden says he did cure cancer back in 2023. Hear him for yourself. (WATCH)

Maybe, we’re in some sort of time paradox. Does this next post explain why Michael J. Fox really got a Presidential Medal of Freedom from Biden recently?

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Doctor Jill can do anything!

Still, we need clarification on whether the cure has actually been found. 

From teleprompter to telemedicine, Biden’s waiting for that cancer cure call to come in any minute. We’re sure of it!

Maybe the call will come a few days from now when Biden is settling in to his new life.

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‘Yes we cans!’

In all seriousness, here’s the real truth.

The ‘cancer’ in the White House and Washington, D.C. is about to be surgically removed and President Donald Trump and JD Vance are bringing the scalpels. Let’s get to cutting! Sorry, Dr. Jill, no need to scrub in. We got this!

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