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Joe Mande blames ‘Michelle Malkin-reading' 'Benghazi psychos' for ruining his unrequited love for LaCroix

Classy as always. Right, “Benghazi psychos”?

For a while now, comedian Joe Mande’s shtick has been begging his followers to help him land a gig as the spokesman for LaCroix brand sparkling water.

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https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/253586531858657280

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/254266830397534208

Unfortunately for him, companies don’t usually want to be represented by ever-so-charming guys who offer to pay for bodily fluids to be thrown at a U.S. senator.

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/463524140238901248

Screen Shot 2014-05-07 at 6.08.13 AM

Mande says he received a tall glass of sparkling shut-your-trap from LaCroix. The letter attributed to LaCroix’s lawyer specifically cites Mande’s political views and “offensive” jokes as a reason why the company is asking him to stop misrepresenting himself its spokesperson.

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/statuses/462371891315871744

Here’s a zoomed-in view of the letter:

lacroix-letter

From Mande:

I’ve received a letter from the cowards at La Croix Water asking me to stop claiming to be their celebrity spokesman. Apparently La Croix is concerned they might lose valuable business from Michelle Malkin-reading, Benghazi-obsessed right wing psychos. You know, that’s fine. But they should know that I’m never drinking LaCroix again. They’ve lost the support of the original and number one #LACROIXBOY: me!

I urge Perrier and/or Polar Seltzer and/or San Pellegrino to hit me up immediately. I’d be happy to endorse their product, provided they have a sense of humor and aren’t total fucking pussies.

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Mande is taking the scenic route to Whinesville on the waahhmbulance. Because hardy-har-har comedy something blah.

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/462373129726070784

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/463535546237587456

And he’s bringing a few friends with him:

https://twitter.com/baczor/status/463546762788339712

https://twitter.com/travishelwig/status/463538124488863744

https://twitter.com/DandyYoYo/status/462442589598134274

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Maybe some other company will hire Mande?

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/462373790295416833

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/462378417715834880

Love hurts.

Related:

Comedian Joe Mande has an indecent proposal involving Ted Cruz

‘Comedian’ Joe Mande goes trolling again: The Tea Party is ‘our Taliban’

Jagoff ‘comedian’ Joe Mande: ‘It would be cool if Ted Cruz got horribly injured’

‘Comedian’ Joe Mande fails at trolling Michelle Malkin with demeaning Photoshop, deletes tweet

Disgraceful: ‘Comedian’ Joe Mande mocks companies tweeting 9/11 tributes

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