By now, you’ve probably heard about the Biden administration mulling a ban on gas stoves. You know, because regular Americans shouldn’t be allowed to have nice things like cooking appliances that allow for more even cooking and more effective cooking and more efficient cooking and just an all-around better cooking experience.
And if regular Americans are allowed to have gas stoves, they’ll get stupider. Bet you didn’t know that, did you? Probably because you’ve been spending too much time around that gas stove and have suffered reduced cognitive performance as a result.
Here, let AOC explain it to you:
Did you know that ongoing exposure to NO2 from gas stoves is linked to reduced cognitive performance https://t.co/1bjmHqnHVa
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) January 11, 2023
You can read more about it here: https://t.co/JUgq1A4LaS
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) January 11, 2023
Although if you have done a lot of cooking on a gas stove, you may need to have someone else read it to you because of your own reduced cognitive performance.
The way we are handling it in NYC isn’t to force people to switch what they already have. Folks can keep their appliances, and new buildings in NYC will have gas-free stoves.
As for federally, any proposal from the CPSC would go through a quite lengthy review and input process.
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) January 11, 2023
Well, thank goodness we’ve got someone like AOC in Congress. Her high cognitive performance is a precious asset. She will protect us from ourselves.
Then why are you using one?
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) January 11, 2023
Recommended
*Record scratch*
Wait, what? AOC using a gas stove? She would never! Not at the risk of decreased cognitive performance!
Except of course she would:
You have made videos of yourself cooking on a gas stove pic.twitter.com/TWLVgNp4dm
— PoliMath (@politicalmath) January 11, 2023
Hey, how’d that gas stove get in there??? We’re so confused! Somebody, anybody … make it make sense, dammit!
@AOC: “ongoing exposure to NO2 from gas stoves is linked to reduced cognitive performance”
…she uses a gas stove pic.twitter.com/Y5ko3QcUYe
— John Hasson (@SonofHas) January 11, 2023
Ahhhhh.
It all makes sense now https://t.co/wzqwJ1O1W0
— Sean Agnew (@seanagnew) January 11, 2023
OK, so apparently the basis for AOC’s claim that gas stoves reduce cognitive performance comes from personal experience. It’s understandable that she’d make that connection, although in her particular case, she was starting from a point of low cognitive performance, so she needs someone — or something — else to blame in order to avoid acknowledging that she’d be an idiot no matter what kind of stove she uses.
The pic is from her Instagram live in February, and she clearly states it’s her kitchen pic.twitter.com/tdhh353ldx
— John Hasson (@SonofHas) January 11, 2023
Maybe she thinks that if she plunges her entire head into a bowl of ice-cold water, it will protect her brain from the gas stove’s cognitive-performance-reducing fumes.
Oh no
— Tony Bennett 🐐 (@_griffindor_15) January 11, 2023
Oh yesssssssss.
This is one of the great tweets of all time https://t.co/CQGN9xowim
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) January 11, 2023
It is — in sticking with the cooking theme — *chef’s kiss*.
Best self-own ever!
— Redheaded_Conservative (@Redheaded_CC) January 11, 2023
Don’t worry — AOC’s got plenty more where this one came from. She’s no doubt cooking up another one as we speak.
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Related:
Noted border hawk AOC says U.S. must stop granting refuge to Brazil’s Bolsonaro
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