NC Court Rules 65K Voters Have Fifteen Days to Prove Eligibility In Contested...
Who They REALLY Are --> Racist Antifa Members Attack Conservative Black Man at...
USA Fencing Gets Absolutely SKEWERED for Sexist Statement on 'Tolerance' After Expelling F...
Sorry AIN'T Cuttin' It! Rahm Emanuel Says Democrats Made Mistakes on COVID but...
Sunny Hostin Wagers Many Trump Voters Now Wish Harris Had Won (We'll Take...
Leading Lefty Rag BUSTS Republicans for Only Wanting Legal Citizens to Vote (No,...
WATCH What BACKFIRE Looks Like In Real Time As Witness OWNS Amy Klobuchar...
And HERE We Go! AOC Officially Becomes Chuck Schumer's Worst Nightmare annnd We...
For SOME Reason Dems Visiting the Border Decided No Press Access or Public...
Oh, Honey: SE Cupp Is Outraged (OUTRAGED, We Say!) Because Americans DARE Doubt...
Michigan Secretary of State's Claim There's 'No Evidence' of Non-Citizen Voting Aged Badly...
This Is How You Handle Men in Women's Sports
'Defund DEEZ Nuts!' Dem BRAGS About Introducing Legislation to Defund DOGE and WOW,...
Nature Is HEALING: Jobs Report 'by the Numbers' Is GREAT News for Private...
Glenn Beck Gets to the Bottom of Why 'This Judicial Coup Against Trump...

Be advised: Alleged SNL writer warns that 'if I see you walking on the sidewalk without a mask, I WILL b*tchslap you'

We’d never heard of him, but apparently Matthew Goldin is a 23-year-old bisexual writer for “Saturday Night Live.” Oh, and he’s apparently also a big proponent of wearing masks outside. Woe unto anyone who fails to heed his warning:

Advertisement

Once more, with feeling!

Uh-oh … all you outdoor breathers had better watch your backs!

Don’t tempt him. Matthew’s a scary dude. With fists of steel, we bet.

Don’t worry. He’ll never get a chance to see or hear your response. Because Matthew Goldin is not going to b*tchslap anyone.

Whether or not Matthew likes his teeth, he’s not going to lay a hand on anyone. He wouldn’t dare, because he knows that at the end of the day, he’s just another tough-talking wimp who hides behind a Twitter account.

If Matthew Goldin is actually a writer at SNL, his tweet is probably the funniest SNL-related thing we’ve seen in recent memory. Can’t you just picture him sitting inside his apartment, face pressed up against the window, quietly daring the people on the sidewalks below to look up at him with their maskless faces so he can give them the finger and make the knife-cut-across-the-throat gesture? That would actually make a pretty great SNL sketch in its own right.

Advertisement

It all makes sense now.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos