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'Why don't we know this'? Stand by for important Conan the Hero Dog gender news

While America was busy celebrating Conan the Hero Dog, one question remained unanswered: what, exactly, is Conan? See, a lot of people assumed (likely based on the name) that Conan was a male. But then came reports that Conan was, in fact, female.

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We know thanks to gender studies majors that men can be women can be men, but does the same hold true for dogs? This seems like a job for the firefighters:

Is this really something that’s difficult to clarify, or … ?

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Inquiring minds want — nay, need — to know what’s going on here.

Are we sure?

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