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'WTF I love climate change now!' Tragic: Coldplay says they won't be touring for their new album in the interest of saving the environment

Hope you have a vacuum cleaner handy, because you’re gonna need something to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. You see, everyone’s favorite band Coldplay has decided not to go on tour for their latest album in the interest of saving the planet:

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Wow. Deep.

Will you, Jack? Will you???

Maybe they should be part of the Green New Deal.

How can you not?

They may have already changed it:

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Wait, what?

How’d they get to Jordan? Did they walk? While holding their breath and not pooping?

Oh well. Suppose we have to take whatever we can get, huh?

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