OMG THIS IS REAL?! DC Police Department's perp description gets VERY oddly specific and people have HILARIOUS thoughts

Sam J. | 4:00 PM on September 16, 2021

Who knew someone getting stabbed would notice this about the perp? ROFL

We can see it now, ‘Why hello office, yes, yes I was just stabbed. And boy howdy, I have to tell you, the person who stabbed me had the PRETTIEST EYES I have ever seen. Oh yes, I am slowly bleeding out, and ouch it hurts SO MUCH but I’m telling you, THOSE EYES …’

Can’t believe this is real and yet here we are:

STABBING/1600 block OF MARYLAND AVE NE/LOF A B/M LIGHT CPLX, NO SHIRT, TATTOOS ON THE BODY, PRETTY EYES; B/F 5'4, BLACK CLOTHING/5269

— DC Police Department (@DCPoliceDept) September 16, 2021

What gave the perp away?

THOSE EYES.

https://twitter.com/jordylancaster/status/1438562591723380738?s=20

*snorts*

APB: SUSPECT SLEEK, GAZELLE-LIKE, w/ a certain SAVOIR FAIRE; EASY ON EYES; considered ARMED and EXTREMELY DELOISHUS

— 🥓,🥚 & 🧀 on 🥯 (@YoBrohan) September 16, 2021

ROFL ROFL ROFL!!!

Sleek, gazelle-like with a certain SAVOIR FAIRE.

Armed and extremely delicious.

Wow, that’s awesome.

Got him. pic.twitter.com/aGQVaSbNbw

— The American Guy 🇺🇸 (@YankReb69) September 16, 2021

Dude stabs somebody and flashes a deep auburn stare.

DCPD:"I can fix him"

— Jake (unaffiliated with State Farm) (@JDSommey) September 16, 2021

I CAN FIX HIM.

Is this for real. How is this for real.

— Brandi Buchman (@Brandi_Buchman) September 16, 2021

Armed and dreamy?

ok, pretty eyes 👀, lol look for the pretty eyed dude 🤣🤣🤣

— LeVar C T (@levarct) September 16, 2021

Guy running down the street with his eyes closed. Ohh well that’s not him. Carry on.

— Jasmine Wilson (@Jasmine94878907) September 16, 2021

Or wearing sunglasses? FOILED AGAIN!

OMG THIS IS REAL?! DC Police Department's perp description gets VERY oddly specific and people have HILARIOUS thoughts

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