LOL OUCH! That Dennis Miller would rather do THIS than watch the Oscars speaks VOLUMES

Seems a pretty safe guess that Dennis Miller is less than impressed with what the 90th Oscars has to offer this year. While many of us are skipping the yearly awards show where a bunch of wealthy, self-centered, progressive Hollywood elite pat themselves on the back for reading words someone else wrote for them, most of us probably aren’t so underwhelmed with the awards show that we’d rather do this:

As opposed to watching the Oscars tomorrow, I'm opting to kayak solo across the Pacific with a rabid raccoon loose in the leg space of the vessel.

— Dennis Miller (@DennisDMZ) March 4, 2018

Raccoons aren’t friendly ANYWAY, but a rabid one almost makes Chelsea Handler seem like a nice person.

Almost.

It will be a lot less painful…

— Che Huahua (@_BottomLineGuy_) March 4, 2018

Which says so much about the disaster the Oscars has turned into over the years.

Oh, are the Oscars on tomorrow night? We have Big Bang Theory and NCIS Los Angeles reruns on the schedule.

— Patti-Bayou ???? (@Patti_Bayou) March 4, 2018

Wait, you mean you’re not kayaking across the Pacific with a rabid raccoon in your boat? Buzzkill.

Coward, your way is less painful and over and done with much more quickly

— Jeff Kiser (@1962Kiser) March 4, 2018

Heh.

We're in pic.twitter.com/yvDAnl6WsK

— StanleyFosha (@stanleyfosha) March 4, 2018

Is this the new Tide Pod trend?

I have something even more fun planned. I'm giving one of my kidneys to a wino.

— Sean Spoonts (@sean_spoonts) March 4, 2018

What a giver.

Film your voyage, release it this summer, and you could win an Oscar for it next year.

— D.T. Dickinson (@dtdickinson) March 4, 2018

Recommended

LET THEM FIGHT: Cenk Uygur Calls Out Joy Behar and 'The View' and We Are HERE FOR IT

Amy Curtis

Advertisement

Oooh, good plan.

I’ve opted for not one, but TWO colonoscopies! Less painful than the Oscars!

— KaraLea (@russianwaters44) March 4, 2018

Eek.

https://twitter.com/budreaux44/status/970163560977444864

Alrighty then.

I’d rather clean the Lint out of my Toenails & give myself a Pedicure with a hand held grinder!

— Roger (@RogerDodger426) March 4, 2018

Ouch.

https://twitter.com/TheRaytedex/status/970222092762468352

And curtain.

Related:

‘DON’T profile me.’ Stacey Dash BLISTERS Trevor Noah for NASTY comments about her candidacy

So very TRIGGERED: Joy Reid absolutely LOSES it on #TriggerALiberalIn4Words (and other great tweets!)