Y'all. This writer cannot begin to express how GIDDY she is to bring you YET ANOTHER Alabama Man story, and this time, we don't know how anyone could top this one. This will go down in infamy. The sheer logistics required to pull this off are impressive. This makes four stories for Alabama Man so far, and 2024 is just getting started!
An Alabama radio station owner is stunned after thieves made off with his radio tower.
— AL.com (@aldotcom) February 6, 2024
“It’s one thing to break into the building and steal the transmitter,’’ Brett Elmore, owner of WJLX in Jasper, said. “But it’s another thing to steal a 200-foot tower.”
https://t.co/vnmAUFPlvx
Oh yes, dear readers! You read this correctly. Alabama Man stole a whole-a** 200-foot radio tower.
One would think that security cameras were in place, or sensors, or something ... but this wasn't discovered until landscapers arrived the next morning and called the station owner, Brett Elmore.
The phone call documented by AL.com is truly something to behold. Check this out:
Brett Elmore, owner of WJLX in Jasper, then received an unexpected, and baffling, call.
'He said, ‘Brett, we’re down here and the tower’s gone.'
'I said, ‘The tower’s gone?’ and he said, ‘Yeah, the tower’s gone.' '
The landscaper assured Elmore he had walked the property, and the massive steel tower was nowhere to be found.
'I said, ‘It’s a 200-foot tower. You would see it somewhere if it was laying around,' Elmore said.
Being an Alabama native herself, this writer can confirm that that is one of the most Alabama phone calls she's ever heard! But that's not the end of it. Another small building on the property was vandalized as well.
Recommended
The small transmitter building had also been vandalized. At Elmore’s direction, the landscaper looked inside and described what he saw – a wooden table, a metal chair, and a box fan.
‘And then I knew. I said, ‘Something bad, bad has happened,’ Elmore said. ‘The transmitter was gone.’
‘I’m stunned,’ Elmore said. ‘I was like, ‘Oh my God.’'
‘It’s one thing to break into the building and steal the transmitter,’’ he said. ‘But it’s another thing to steal a 200-foot tower.’
Well yeah, Elmore. We'd say so, too.
Now, this tower was only for an AM site, the FM site is in another part of town. The estimate to rebuild the tower is more than a tiny market station can afford, and Elmore shockingly did not have insurance on the property. Jasper Police Department is still investigating.
Where does one find cargo pants with pockets that big?
— Daniel Gump ☕️ (@DSiPaint) February 8, 2024
Probably from the Bass Pro Shop, but as we know, Alabama Man No. 1 apparently had no use for them.
What does he plan to do with it?
— LibertyJ (@LibertyJen) February 8, 2024
Elmore guesses that the copper would be stripped and the rest of the tower would be sold for scrap.
— John Stark (@SandmanSlim02) February 8, 2024
All my relatives were busy that day noodling for some giants cats on the Warrior River.
— G'stweets (@GeesTweets) February 7, 2024
In an unrelated note, you won’t believe the off-air tv reception I now have at home. I’m picking up GA and TN channels now.
We. Are. DEAD.
Different rules apply when you're in Jasper, Alabama. https://t.co/LiJjjsSy9y
— David A. Smith | Photographer (@DSmithScenes) February 7, 2024
Nah, but if you ever meet someone from Jasper, AL, they are the living embodiment of 'hey y'all, hold my beer and watch this!'
Alabama is a wild state https://t.co/cYAELEAUqg
— 8batz (@SikuLaFlame) February 7, 2024
Darn tootin'!
Lol this ain’t thievery this is villainy 😂 https://t.co/lhgG2TJF98
— Royale with Cheese (@DRoyale) February 7, 2024
dawg what https://t.co/BtOKXKLNlN
— Micah (@MicahLangston_) February 7, 2024
Honestly good for them https://t.co/5u9Rx88AMv
— Brian Oliu (@BrianOliu) February 7, 2024
Right? Doesn't that just butter your biscuit?!
This is kind of amazing…someone stole their 200’ tower.
— Boneyardigans (@UConnFanDotCom) February 9, 2024
And then the government kicked them while they were down. They were denied permission to broadcast over their FM channel by the FCC and then had to *ask permission* not to broadcast over AM even though they can’t. https://t.co/FMsPRFkbBe
As funny as this is, the government will always find a way to be the steaming hot pile of garbage that we've come to expect.
All fun and joking aside, though, if anyone reading this happens to have any information, call Jasper police 205-221-2121 and give them the heads up!
***
Editor's Note: Do you enjoy Twitchy's conservative reporting taking on the radical left and woke media? Support our work so that we can continue to bring you the truth. Join Twitchy VIP and use the promo code SAVEAMERICA to get 50% off your VIP membership!
Join the conversation as a VIP Member