'Best thing on the Internet today': Jay Carney's 9,486 evasions and verbal crutches

Yahoo News identified “13 distinct strains” of dodge in an unfettered analysis of the White House press secretary’s spin and evasions. The grand total of dodges? 9,486.

Press Scy Jay Carney has held 444 press meetings & has used 9,486 excuses or reasons not to answer questions. Takes good lessons from Obama!

— Mr. Blowhard (@pgcoffee) June 21, 2013

"Since Carney held his 1st…briefing…he’s used some variation of "I don’t have the answer" more than 1,900 times" http://t.co/Lpy84IhWK1

— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 21, 2013

Shorter Jay Carney:

Jay Carney doesn’t have an answer for that. He hasn’t discussed that subject with the president. He will refer you to the Department of [insert agency here]. He refuses to speculate on that. He’ll have to get back to you.

But he appreciates the question.

Most transparent administration evah!

Hardest hit? Buzzfeed:

Buzzfeed's missed opportunity: http://t.co/Eyxjs83DTN

— Melissa Mackenzie (@MelissaTweets) June 21, 2013

http://twitter.com/LilMissRightie/statuses/348082435898093568

“Laugh or cry”? We’re going with “laugh.”

HILARIOUS! The top 9,486 ways Jay Carney won’t answer your questions (interactive)… http://t.co/42ogHcoaPK

— Joseph Curl ❎ (@josephcurl) June 21, 2013

The best thing on the Internet today, compliments of @rachelrhartman, @chriswilsondc (and @PressSec): http://t.co/JEp3CwFlpR

— Jeff Simon (@jjsimonCNN) June 21, 2013

Recommended

Former Federal Employee Spills ALL THE BEANS on What's REALLY Going on with Fed Employees and Wow (Watch)

Sam J.

Advertisement

Even I didn't have these numbers. Fun piece on @Yahoo about 9,486 ways @PressSec dodges questions. http://t.co/kE6AS8MR1W

— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) June 21, 2013

AMAZING “@OKnox: How does @PressSec Jay Carney not answer questions? Yahoo News counts the ways: http://t.co/gEJMZPtZOp”

— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) June 21, 2013

http://twitter.com/NoahCRothman/statuses/348049922362318848

This list of @Carney evasions skips mine, "I have nothing for you on that, nor can I anticipate a time I will." http://t.co/Lm5RY7k4ZP

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) June 21, 2013

https://twitter.com/viewofadam/status/348038255561822208

Oh, come on. He’s just doing his job!

a/k/a Doing his job RT@mlcalderone: Yahoo News has identified 13 distinct strains of how Jay Carney dodges questions http://t.co/CIyE6Evpg8

— NR_Garrett (@NR_Garrett) June 21, 2013

Serious You Guys.

Flashback: The white washing.