OUTRAGEOUS: VP of WI Law and Liberty Breaks Down Charges, Possible Sentencing for...
Stephen A. Smith Agrees Shedeur Sanders Is Victim of ‘Kaepernick-Level Collusion’
Montana's GOP-Led Housing Revolution: Bold Reforms Leave Democrats Stunned
Shedeur Sanders’ Draft Slide Stings, But Prank Callers Add Insult to Injury with...
The Great Blue Suit Scandal: Lefties LOSE THEIR MINDS Over Trump's Funeral Attire
Adam Schiff Didn't Want Biden's Pardon but Watch His Weasel Spin About Not...
Requiescat In Pace: World Leaders and Faithful Gather at the Vatican to Pay...
Jamaal Bowman Pulls the Alarm: The NFL is 'Afraid' of Shedeur Sanders Because...
'Been Owed This for 5 Years'! Scott Jennings Calls Out Randi Weingarten's Lies...
Up Next for Dem Sen. Chris Van Hollen: Margaritas With Judge Dugan?
Massive Explosion Rocks Iranian Port of Bandar Abbas Causing Widespread Damage, Injuries (...
'This Is a Crime'! CNN Legal Analyst Throws a Wrench In Dems' Narrative...
Milwaukee Democrat Rep Encourages People to Obstruct ICE from Arresting Criminal Illegal A...
Scott Jennings Schools CNN Panelists on Why an Activist Judge’s Arrest Had to...
FOIA Revelation: Biden White House Labeled Libs of TikTok and Gays Against Groomers...

NOOOOOOOOO! The Hill Wants Us All to Know What Hillary Calls Her 'Postmenopausal Midsection'

ImgFlip

It's no secret that The Hill as a publication is completely in the tank for Democrats. There is no puff piece on a prominent Democrat that they will not publish. They're like People magazine for leftist politicians. 

Advertisement

Even with that understanding, though, there are times when we run across a Hill story on Twitter and we can only ask one question: 

'But why?' 

That was the case yesterday when, in trying to help Hillary Clinton promote her new book (that she won't let anyone on Twitter tell her about), The Hill decided that it was important for American voters to know that Clinton has a nickname for her belly

No, we are not joking and yes, we wish to God that we were. 

Excuse us while we retch for a few minutes. 

This is one of those times we have to apologize to readers for sharing something that no human eye should ever be subjected to. But it traumatized us, so we wanted to share the pain: 

In 'Something Lost, Something Gained,' Clinton divulges everything from the nickname she coined for her “postmenopausal” stomach, to how a lunch with Michelle Obama left her hungry to why she’s embraced being dubbed 'Big Girl' by her staff.

Clinton, 76, said she decided to borrow an idea that comedian Wanda Sykes gave her: to bestow a name on her 'newly thick midsection.'

'I now call mine Beulah,' Clinton wrote. The former first lady described Beulah — and her friend’s stomach, Bertha — as 'stubborn old gals.' The pair decided, she said, 'if the two of them won’t go away, we might as well get on speaking terms with them.'

Advertisement

Beulah? BEULAH? Where is Ben Stein when we need him? 


OK, we now have to go throw up some more, so we're going to let Twitter take over for a little bit.

You can say that again. Why? Why is this something anyone needs to know? Why is this in Clinton's book? Why did The Hill want to make sure we all knew this was in Clinton's book? 

Maybe most importantly, why didn't she name it 'Kuato'? 


Sorry, we couldn't resist. 

LOL. Sometimes we love Holy Briden and sometimes -- for the exact same reasons -- we hate her.

We don't think you have anything to worry about there. The mental image of Clinton's midsection -- especially with a name of its own -- will never be associated with the words 'cute' or 'likable.'

Advertisement

Pure, unadulterated narcissism. That's what it takes to believe the public wants to know things like this about you. 

She really needs to just go away. Live out her life and loveless marriage on an island somewhere where no one has to hear from her ever again. 

Then again, the more she talks, it's probably a good thing for Trump's chances in the election. 

HA. It's a genuine possibility. 

Just remember to blot. Don't rub. That will only make it worse. 

We're going to let you Google that acronym, Twitchy readers. 

Advertisement

OOF. 

OK, that was a damn good joke right there. 

She couldn't have named it that or else Bill Clinton would be attracted to it. 

[Spit laugh.]

Sorry, horse. We regret that you had to see this. 

You weren't alone in that sentiment. 

Stay with us, everyone. We will get over this trauma together. 

It's a crime against humanity is what it is. 

That lunch probably didn't taste as good coming back up. 

Advertisement

It's seared into our retinas even if they did delete it. 

We hate The Hill more than ever now. 

See? That's what we said. 

Oh, please God, do NOT show this to Donald Trump. 

Don't get us wrong. He would have some extremely hilarious things to say about it. His reaction even might make for a great Twitchy article. 

But Trump needs to stay focused. He's got an election to win. And if he saw this, he might riff on it for days. Weeks, even. 

We couldn't even really blame him. It's just that mockable. 

But for the sake of America, can we all promise not to let Trump know about Hillary's friend 'Beulah'?

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement