Are you worried about Russian election interference, Twitchy readers? Does it keep you awake at night, thrashing back and forth in a panic? Do you often walk down the street surreptitiously glancing back and forth, certain that your neighbors are all puppets or agents of Vladimir Putin?
Well, have no fear, patriotic American. Your FBI is on the case!
Earlier today, Twitchy reported that the Biden administration was pulling out its one-hit wonder yet again to spin that tune for the upcoming election. That's right, the Russians are interfering in our elections.
Oh, nooooes.
Of course, the dire warning from the FBI (in the form of a 300-page affidavit) did not indicate whether Russia's interference would be greater or less than, say, the interference from American mainstream media, or Mark Zuckerberg, or 51 former intelligence officials ... or the FBI itself.
We're guessing less. A lot less.
But wait. It gets SO much better. To follow up on this announcement, intrepid FBI Director Christoper Wray offered those nasty Putin stooges a stern warning that the Russkies are bound to take deathly seriously.
Are you ready for it? Here it comes:
"Knock it off." - Says FBI Director Christopher Wray to foreign adversaries meddling in American democracy. https://t.co/DbocEMxFbRhttps://t.co/mpSEnuDVlZ pic.twitter.com/L9gj4aTcnm
— FBI (@FBI) September 4, 2024
Yikes. We expect Putin to surrender and admit all of his nefarious activities as soon as tomorrow morning.
Are you #$%&!@ kidding us right now? This is a real tweet, from the real FBI.
How do these people take themselves seriously, let alone expect anyone else to?
That oughta do it pic.twitter.com/Vu1QKB0zHh
— Jake13th 🏴☠️ (@JakeThirteenth) September 5, 2024
This is worse than Biden saying "Don't" to Iran - which they completely ignored.
— Fusilli Spock (@awstar11) September 5, 2024
Wish our @FBI wasn't a complete clown show. https://t.co/MoBbAI418f
— Bleu Cheque (@VERBAL_CHANCLA) September 5, 2024
'Don't.' Yeah, that one worked out well. Didn't Iran fire missiles at Israel the very next day or something close to that?
From the administration that said “Don’t” to Iranian proxies and “Don’t come” to immigrants, we now have “knock it off.” https://t.co/NaelEpbT3M pic.twitter.com/7L4XXEjxHH
— WestWiscoHusker (@HuskerInSota) September 5, 2024
Oh, yes. Let's not forget one of Kamala Harris's greatest hits as well.
https://t.co/skUTFJYzGm pic.twitter.com/3i5JuKaMW3
— Lizzy Lou Who 🇺🇸 (@_wintergirl93) September 4, 2024
How'd that one work out, Kam-Kam? How many millions of illegals who have invaded the border are we up to now?
15 million? That we know about?
https://t.co/xGOVvzgTxR pic.twitter.com/dAZ9dNsua2
— 🍹 Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock (@kimmie_c_) September 5, 2024
Even as a Canadian, Dave Coulier would be a better FBI director than Wray.
No wonder foreign powers don't take us seriously. https://t.co/Gbzg2WP1zS
— Pradheep J. Shanker, M.D. (@neoavatara) September 5, 2024
Would you if you were Putin? Or Khamenei? Or Xi Jinping?
Hey, speaking of China, is the FBI worried at all about their interference in our government?
Now do the Chinese Communists who have infiltrated most of the Federal Government.
— GayPatriot (@GayPatriot) September 5, 2024
It's not like we have a sitting congressman from California who slept with a Chinese spy for campaign cash or anything. And it's not like just this week, the former deputy chief of staff of the sitting New York governor was arrested and charged with acting as a Chinese agent.
And while that is going on, Iran is funding antisemitic, violent pro-Hamas protesters in the United States, but that's not election interference or anything.
This writer will probably be accused of being a Putin Puppet soon for bringing those subjects up.
https://t.co/RbINZJZZtX pic.twitter.com/CsOtPslkgy
— Wind-Up Alligator Hooch (@CompanyHooch) September 5, 2024
To be fair, it's not as though the Russians aren't trying to influence Americans. They are. So are many other nations. So does the United States.
But to keep bringing up this boogeyman (for the third presidential election now) is complete agitprop and nothing more.
Wray is more of a threat to the United States than Russia or China.
— Bruce Ballou 🇺🇸 (@VetBruce) September 4, 2024
Fact check: true.
Wow, seems that the FBI thinks Trump is going to win. Gotta bring out the next hoax! https://t.co/sAybtIxuuQ
— Donny Simcha Guttman (@DonnySimcha) September 4, 2024
Maybe they've seen the Democrats' internal polling. There is no way they would be making a big deal about this if Harris had a comfortable lead in any current poll.
Russia state social media guy right now….. pic.twitter.com/934hxkEtVw
— Clay Martin ⚔️ (@wayofftheres) September 5, 2024
How long do you think it took the FBI to draft that statement?😂
— SMHonk (@SMHonk1983) September 4, 2024
They probably had a team-building offsite conference to workshop it. In between all of the mandatory DEI training seminars, obviously.
Meanwhile, another school shooting happened yesterday, in which another shooter was shown to be on the FBI's radar.
It's a broken record at this point.
Same FBI as this? 🧐 pic.twitter.com/7wH9ju7Emv
— Frankly Frank (@CastiglioneFrnk) September 5, 2024
There's always a tweet ... or several tweets.
I guess posting memes like this is what the FBI does now instead of stopping school shootings https://t.co/A5PpL7XaEn
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) September 5, 2024
I’m so embarrassed. https://t.co/6FYr4Whc41
— Burt Macklin (@BurtMaclin_FBI) September 5, 2024
We all are, pretend FBI agent. We all are.
Good grief, the FBI director just did the French Taunter. https://t.co/DKwZuZgkfB
— Gen-X Wolf™ (@GenXWolf) September 5, 2024
HA. There's never a bad time for a good Monty Python reference.
This passes for leadership at the @FBI.
— Steve Friend (@RealStevefriend) September 4, 2024
Government is incompetent people doing incompetent things incompetently.
Defund the FBI. https://t.co/MqxftXs3FC
FBI hates competition: "Knock it off, that's our job." https://t.co/x6ltHAtLru
— Joshua Cooper (@cooperjosh87) September 4, 2024
OUCH. Tough, but fair.
Such language…#KnockItOff pic.twitter.com/2d7WpX2Ysu
— TheRealCoachJeff™ 🇺🇸🦅 (@coach_jeff7373) September 5, 2024
LOL. We're sure old Putin is clutching his pearls at this harsh admonishment.
Maybe Wray should have tried a different approach.
— SpudMgmt2023 (@SpudMgmt2023) September 5, 2024
It's worth a shot. We hear you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.
In all seriousness though, we know exactly what Wray and the FBI are up to here. They know Putin doesn't care what they say to him. The ridiculous 'Knock It Off' message was not directed at Russia. It was directed at Americans, as the FBI and the Biden administration introduced a narrative to explain Harris's potential election loss.
Even more insidiously, they are screaming about 'Russia, Russia, Russia' again because they can use it as a lever to restrict the free speech of Americans.
But we're hopeful that golden oldie from the 2020 election won't sell anymore with America. As Roger Daltry once sang, 'We won't get fooled again.'
But maybe he is a Russian agent too. Maybe all of us are. Who can say?
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