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AYFKM? After Putin's Invasion of Ukraine, John Kerry Is Most Upset With Russia About ... Emissions

Fuzzy Chimp

While Americans may be sick and tired of endlessly funding Ukraine in their border war initiated by Russia, most people understand that Vladimir Putin is a very bad actor and a ruthless tyrant, and that Russia should be condemned for any number of actions committed against Ukraine. The nation has been accused of any number of war crimes, including the use of prohibited weapons, sexual violence, targeting civilians, and torture. 

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But if you ask John Kerry, Russia's biggest crime in the war is ... too many emissions. 

Thank God the adults are back in charge, right? Watch: 

Yes, of course. We would ALL feel better about Russia's invasion of Ukraine if they would just use EV tanks and solar panels on the wings of their aircraft. While they're at it, disable the engines on their ships in the Black Sea and Sea of Azov and just hoist some sails.

Shop wisely, Russian invaders. 

Kerry, the State Department's Special Envoy for Climate, is not a serious person. This speech is all the proof anyone would ever need to confirm that. 

He's worse than useless. He is actually harmful. America does have enemies. Serious ones. And we can't imagine how much they laugh and laugh whenever someone from the Biden administration steps out of the clown car and up to a microphone. 

That's not a very high bar there, Senator. All SNL skits are pretty bad. 

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Climate change is probably why all those Hamas terrorists want to eradicate the Jews, let's not forget that. 

Hang on a second ... yep, that math checks out. 

We saw Anthropomorphic Scrotum open for The Dead Milkmen in 1998. 

LOL. Tuberville once won SIX National Coach of the Year awards, so we should probably trust his wisdom. 

Don't try to make sense of it, Senator Lee. It's Chinatown. Or, in this case, 'Climatetown.' 

We can only imagine the look on Putin's face when someone showed him this video. It was probably something like this:

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Only five? 

Unintentional satire, unfortunately. 

Yes, that is the natural reaction of any remotely sane person when listening to Kerry speak. 

OK, that reaction works too. 

Hey, John Kerry once served dishonorably in Vietnam. Don't you DARE question him on how war works. 

If they ban gas stoves and recycle their aluminum, Kerry would probably nominate Putin for a Nobel Peace Prize. 

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Norm MacDonald is laughing at that one. We're sure of it.

That's because it's a cult.

Putin is probably planning on surrendering tomorrow after this severe scolding. 

Shhhh. You're not supposed to mention Kerry's private jet. Or his five (count 'em, five) lavish homes. 

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Please, for the love of God, do NOT give them any more batsh** insane ideas than they already have. 

There is no bar they can't sink under. Remember, this is the administration that has hired the Cookie Monster as its Special Envoy for Shrinkflation.

Not sure about you, Twitchy readers, but we're about ready to wake up from Clown WorldTM.

*** 

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