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Sorry, WHAT? AP reports disturbing news out of Colorado 'green' funeral home

Twitchy

Look, we get it. It's Halloween month. But, ummm, hey climate nutjobs? You don't need to be quite this ghoulish, you know? 

From the Associated Press: 

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We were really hoping this story was a Halloween version of an April Fool's Day joke, but nope. It's real. 

The Return to Nature Funeral Home in Penrose, Colorado, performed “green” burials without embalming chemicals or metal caskets.

The investigation centered on a building owned by the funeral home where local residents reported smelling a foul stench before police became involved.

Deputies were called to the single-story building on Tuesday night in reference to a suspicious incident. Fremont County Sheriff’s Office investigators returned the next day with a search warrant and found the improperly stored remains.

Joyce Pavetti, 73, can see the funeral home from the stoop of her house and said she caught whiffs of a putrid smell in the last few weeks.

“We just assumed it was a dead animal,” she said.

We'll spare you any additional details from the story in case you just ate ... or were about to eat. 

But Twitter was less than impressed with the mortuary's 'green' practices. 

If we don't let bodies rot in buildings, without even any refrigeration, the planet will end in 10 years. Or something. 

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According to Return To Nature, a green funeral home means handing over $1895.00 (not including casket or cemetery space) to let your deceased loved ones rot in a hallway.  

OK, in fairness, no one is accusing Return To Nature of feeding the bodies to the rest of the town ... yet. 

To be perfectly honest, we'd prefer not to think about it, thank you very much. 

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The people who contracted with this funeral home likely knew what they were getting into, but still. If one of our family members was treated this way, we can't imagine how mortified we would be. 

Leave it to @redsteeze to sum up the 'green' movement with a single meme. But somehow we don't think this answer is going to fly for this funeral home. Expect lawsuits against Return To Nature. And lots of 'em.


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