Dateline: Washington DC, 01 April 2025
They tried to warn us, but we wouldn't listen, and now it may be too late. The evil that resides within our government, white guys, are preparing to strike a blow so devious, so dastardly, that it may end democracy itself. Intending to bring the republic to its knees, leaving our beloved America in the iron grip of the fascist, racist, misogynist oligarchs known as the Republican party FOREVER!
House Speaker Mike Johnson (a white guy) will put the malevolent plan of political domination into motion this Thursday with a vote on the wickedly sinful 'Save Act.'
Speaker Johnson's full misleading statement:
American citizens — and only American citizens — should decide American elections. House Republicans are determined to codify this commonsense idea with the SAVE Act which puts in place commonsense safeguards to prevent noncitizens from abusing our democratic process. This legislation cements into law President Trump’s executive action to secure our voter registration process and protect the voices of American voters. We urge all our colleagues in the House to join us in doing what the overwhelming majority of people in this country rightfully demand and deserve.
What Speaker Johnson conveniently fails to mention is that this act would plunge America back to the days of women's suffrage. Banning millions of women from the voting booth. The women of America are being bamboozled, and they don't even know it.
Rumors swirled around DC that when this totalitarian act was drafted, it was originally titled the 'Barefoot in the Kitchen Act,' but they knew they had to keep their true intentions hidden and worked diligently to find a title they could sell as legitimate.
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Some have speculated that Chip Roy (another white guy) suggested the 'Chicks can't Hold Dey Vote Act' in honor of his favorite 80s movie, The Breakfast Club. That wouldn't work either, so the Republicans took a page from Biden's playbook. If he could change the name of the Green New Deal to the Inflation Reduction Act and make people buy it then they could sell the Save Act.
Time is running out for the women of America. Who will save them? They need a champion, a hero, to save the day.
Jasmine Crockett intends to be that hero. Rising like a phoenix from the ashes of the Democrats' humiliating defeat in November, she has become the face of the party. The Paladin of Progressive Policy, Crockett, won't let them get away with this. The Democrats' own 'Donkey Ho-Dee' will virtuously travel far and wide to expose the Republicans' evil plans. A leftist knight-errant 'tilting at windmills' until her quest to save America's women is complete. (It should be noted for the environmentalist wing of the party that, unlike Don Quixote, Donkey Ho-Dee would never hurt a real windmill.)
The good Knight Crockett's entire noble post:
The SAVE Act is yet another bogus attempt by Republicans to suppress the vote — and this time, they’re targeting women.This bill would make it damn near impossible for millions of women who changed their last name after marriage to cast a ballot.Let’s be clear: this isn’t about election integrity — it’s about voter suppression. And trust, my
colleagues and I are not letting it slide.
APRIL FOOLS!!!
We knew we couldn't pull a fast one on Twitchy readers. You know as well as we do that Crockett is still the same fear porn peddling, foul-mouthed, statist she has always been. If Jasmine moved any further to the left, Stalin would have to move over to make room for her.
She is the current face of the party; that much is true. That probably explains why their approval ratings are still in the 20s. The full-court press she and her commie-ish colleagues on the left are waging against the Save Act has nothing to do with women's voting rights.
What are they fighting for? Illegal aliens. The Democrats have worked for four years to get as many illegals into the country as possible. They don't want Republicans preventing those aliens from voting. Of course, they can't come out and say that, so they come up with the ridiculous idea that the Save Act will prevent women from voting.
That's what they're fighting for, and they're out in force. Crockett and company will keep telling the lie in the hopes it will become accepted as the truth.
If this rogue's gallery of leftist lunatics is against this bill, you know it would make a good law.
Republicans have also been out in force. The difference is that they are not pushing a false narrative; they're simply explaining what the Save Act actually will do.
It wouldn't make sense for a woman to support a law that would prevent women from voting, would it?
It's not just the politicians. Americans have seen through the Democrats' lies as well.
We believe the answer to that question is yes.
Crockett and the Democrats are desperately trying to kill the Save Act, a bill intended to ensure that only Americans vote in American elections. Their plan is to spread fear and deception, but Americans aren't buying the lie.
It's April Fools Day, and the joke is on them.
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