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5 Minute Major: Ron DeSantis Crushes Justin Trudeau with Savage Stanley Cup Body Check

AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee

Justin Trudeau is really, really pissed at Donald Trump. The emotionally sensitive, radical feminist leader of Canada has had his panties in a bunch since Trump dubbed him the Governor of the 51st state. He was so incensed by the offer to join the greatest nation in the world that he requested an audience with his king to complain about it.

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There's no indication that the 'I'm Telling My King' strategy had any effect beyond making the effeminate prime minister fodder for creative meme creators.

A little online ridicule wasn't going to stop the Governor. He got home from the meeting with his UK hierarchy with a new problem. The United States had placed a new tariff on all Canadian imports. Justin wasn't going to stand for this, so he put on his big boy britches and hit the airwaves.

In no uncertain terms, Trudeau announced that reciprocal tariffs would begin immediately and Canadians would continue to boo the U.S. National Anthem until further notice.

As we recall, booing our anthem didn't go well for Team Canada during the 4 Nations Face-Off.

He also took aim at bourbon. Some Canadian liquor stores even removed Jack Daniels from their shelves.

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Of course, all that whiskey has already been bought and paid for, but Justin was on a roll, and we're not going to nit-pick the details.

He wasn't done yet, no sir. This is the new, tough Justin. Denying his own citizens American whiskey that's ten times better than anything Canada produces domestically wasn't enough. He wants to deny them Florida as well. That'll show Trump and those ugly Americans that he means business.

During his 'State of the State' address, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis reminded Justin how much Canadians like vacationing in Florida.

'Maybe they want to get a glimpse of what a Stanley Cup-winning hockey team actually looks like.'

Damn! We haven't seen a Canadian take an open-ice hit like that since Darius Kasparatis crushed Eric Lindros back in '98.

For perspective, 3.3 million, or just under 8% of Canada's population, traveled to Florida in 2024, representing less than 3% of Florida's tourists. Florida's tourism is going to be just fine.

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The Montreal Canadians were the last Canadian team to win the Cup in 1993. It was five seasons before Kasparaitis squished Lindros; Desantis was 14, and Justin Trudeau was 21.

Maybe the Leafs or Oilers can pull it off this year? 

There's probably as much a chance of that as beach-loving Canadians boycotting Florida. Nova Scotia is gorgeous, but the water is freezing.

Justin may want to rethink that whiskey. No one is buying his tough guy act, not even his own citizens. He is expected to send a strongly worded letter soon.

That'll show him.

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