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It was There All Along: Senate Passes Child Cancer Research Bill The House Sent Them in March

AP Photo/Mark Schiefelbein

Over the last few days, we have all watched intense drama unfold on one of our favorite reality shows, The Real Housewives of the US Capitol (AKA Congress).

In last night's season finale, the cast worked feverishly to meet a midnight deadline and avert a blue Christmas for non-essential government employees nationwide. After days of yelling, screaming, and finger-pointing, the 218th season ended with the CR bill heading to the White House for the president's signature. 

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It was a little anti-climactic when we learned that the deadline never really mattered. Midnight is way past Joe Biden's bedtime, and the bill would have to wait until Saturday morning to be signed into law.

In one of the most interesting plot twists, Democrats angrily scolded Republicans for heartlessly cutting funds for childhood cancer research out of the CR at the direction of the evil Elon Musk. They claimed Musk, the villainous MAGA mastermind, intended to let children die in order to give his billionaire friends a tax cut. They took to the airwaves to expose his dastardly plan.

Warren's statement was about 1/1024th true. Funding was removed from the original 1500-page CR.

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As it turns out, it's not Republicans who have been denying child cancer research funds. The House passed the funding in a stand-alone bill in March. The bill was sent to the Senate, but Majority Leader Chuck Schumer buried it.

You'd think Jeffries would know that; he was there, after all. He would never knowingly lie. Would he?

Of course, he would. As the saying goes, you never let the truth get in the way of a good story. In fact, if you watch the interview closely, you can tell he's lying. His lips are moving.

Well, something miraculous happened last night. Schumer brought the child cancer research bill to the Senate floor for a vote. He had been sitting on that bill since March. What changed? Did his small heart grow three sizes yesterday? 

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We doubt the timing of the bill's vote last night had anything to do with Schumer's heart. If we were to speculate on Schumer's motivation, we'd see two possible reasons Chuckie would do this now.

It may have been the plan all along. Have Warren, Jefferies, and other Democrats blame Republicans for killing the funds and then take credit for passing them and saving the children. Setting Democrats up with a nice hero arc.

Or, and probably more likely, after Warren and Jefferies were publicly called out for lying about the funds, Schumer pushed them through to put the issue to bed. Simply doing a little political damage control.

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The Democrat media lapdogs tried their best to help Schumer and Jefferies sell the narrative, and that is what has changed. Try as they might, they couldn't frame Republicans as the villain in their story.

Elon isn't an evil mastermind or an oligarch trying to take over control of the government. To Democrats, he is something far more terrifying. He is a man with a huge platform that is shining a light on everything the government does.

Season 219 of The Real Housewives of The US Capitol starts in January, and the cast will face a new reality.

We can ALL see you now!

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