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Taxation Is Theft and Other Helpful Thanksgiving Tips From Chef Andrew Gruel

AP Photo/Bree Fowler

Thanksgiving is this Thursday. Family and friends will gather to celebrate all that we are thankful for. There will be a parade in New York, dog shows, and, of course, football on TV. The kids will run around playing, and the grown-ups will debate everything from politics to sports. It's hectic, but this is the din of our lives, our crazy, loud families.

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The highlight of the day is dinner. We sit and break bread together. Turkey, stuffing, and all the fixings. Oh yeah, we will eat! It's a special day that deserves a special meal. We're willing to bet you spent more than 58 bucks.  If only we knew a world-class chef who could help us make this meal extra special. 

Well, dear Twitchy readers, we are in luck! Chef Andrew Gruel and his wife Lauren have been posting tips and tricks to help you elevate your Thanksgiving feast. He also throws in a based opinion or two.

We hope your turkey is thawed and ready to go. It's time to dry brine that bird and get started.

Let's start with the bird and our new favorite culinary technique: Spatchcocking.

It's not that we know how to spatchcock; we just like saying spatchcock.

Dry brine and spatchcock.Got it! We are well on our way.

Now that we have the bird in the oven, we need to work on the stuffing.

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We have time for a little break. Pour a glass of wine or bourbon (it's a holiday, after all) and catch a few minutes of the Detroit game. 

If your crazy old Uncle Felix is there and the conversation turns to politics, don't worry—Chef Gruel also has a few 'Tips' for you here too.

Wouldn't it be great if eliminating the tax on tips led to bigger and better things?

Yeah, maybe that's a pipe dream, but it's the holiday season, and it's okay to dream big!

The dream will have to wait. We need to get back in the kitchen. Those potatoes won't peel themselves.

Somehow, he makes 'Poodle' potatoes sound good.

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And don't forget the sweet potatoes.

We're not sure Andrew agrees.

We're sure it will be delicious whichever sweet potato dish you choose.

It's time for another glass of wine and maybe a deviled egg... or two.

Is crazy old Uncle Felix still yammering about Trump being president again?

You can handle that.

That ought to shut him up for a little bit. At least long enough to get the green bean casserole started.

Last but not least, here are a few tips for your gravy.

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We're with Lauren; we're probably skipping the chicken feet.

There you have it. You've made the perfect meal and had a perfect day! You even managed to red pill Crazy Uncle Felix!

All thanks to Chef Gruel. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

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