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'Literally Laughed'! WaPo Unveils New 'Mission Statement' ('Democracy Dies in Darkness' Has Died)

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Ever since the Washington Post made their slogan "Democracy Dies in Darkness" we've seen that "democracy" has done just fine (with the exception of the Democrat definition of the word) but the same can't be said for the WaPo:

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Somebody realized the slogan has become "The Washington Post Dies in Darkness" because it's being changed in the hopes that will bring readership back up:

Any bets on what the new slogan is? Mollie Hemingway saw it and had a good laugh:

Out: Democracy Dies in Darkness.

In:

Well, good luck with this, WaPo:

The statement is meant to be an internal rallying point for employees, according to two people with knowledge of the decision. Executives are not planning to replace its more strident public slogan. Suzi Watford, The Post’s chief strategy officer, has been previewing it to some employees this week.

The new mission statement comes amid turmoil in the newsroom. Since June, The Post has been reeling from a series of crises that has resulted in widespread dissatisfaction with Will Lewis, the company’s chief executive. On Wednesday, more than 400 employees sent a letter to Jeff Bezos, the paper’s billionaire owner, requesting a meeting to discuss leadership decisions that they said “led readers to question the integrity of this institution” and that “prompted some of our most distinguished colleagues to leave.”

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The Post's decline is due to a lot more than just a "mission statement." 

Make sure to update your "death of the dinosaur media" programs: 

Yeah, that oughtta do the trick, WaPo.

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