Trolling Trump: President-Elect Sends Sarcastic ‘Season’s Greetings’ to Those on His Naugh...
What the Puck? Trump Suggests NHL Superstar Wayne Gretzky Replace Justin Trudeau
Church of England Warns Clergy About Christmas Carols With 'Problematic Words'
Matt Yglesias: Why Aren't Conservatives Bothered by Crime in Conservative States?
Taylor Lorenz Extremely Stressed About Getting a Rush Visa ASAP
People Have Fun With Idea That 'Hunnikah' Celebrates a Jewish Gorilla War
Christmas Is a Miracle and You Don't Need to Look Further Than North...
Happy Holidays Tweet from the ATF Doesn't Warm The Heart
If What the Teamsters Prez Told Tucker Carlson Is True It's No Wonder...
Merry Christmas: A Special Bonus Gift of Christmas Funnies Just for You
Simply ‘Wonderful’: Classic Holiday Film Reminds Generations It’s Okay to Cry at Christmas
A Lump of Coal in Her Stocking! Crypto Influencer Gets BURIED for Not...
Political Pivot? Many Question ‘Young Turk’ Cenk Uygur’s Sudden Willingness to Talk with...
'The View' Panelist Says Problem for Dems Is That Gov't Won't Regulate Social...
Man Vs. History: Bear Grylls Gets DROPPED by Community Notes for Awful Take...

Writer Wonders If Trump’s Bandage Is Covering Up Evidence He Wasn’t Shot

AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast

Here come the bandage truthers. President Donald Trump made his first public appearance since Saturday's assassination attempt at the Republican National Convention on Monday night. And yes, his ear was bandaged:

Advertisement

As we reported earlier, the usual suspects like Mark Hamill wrote off the bandage as some kind of sympathy ploy, calling it "ludicrously oversized."

We first mistook Steven Beschloss for Michael Beschloss, NBC News' TDS-addled presidential historian … who knows, they could be related. Beschloss' bio says he's a writer who teaches at the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication. Beschloss appears also to be a bandage truther, wondering if Trump was wearing the ludicrously oversized bandage on his ear to mask that he hadn't been shot.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

Advertisement

Speaking of journalism professors, Jeff Jarvis has thrown in with Claude Taylor that Trump wasn't shot but lightly injured by flying shards of glass.

"He took a shard for you. Am I wrong?" Photos would indicate that yes, you are.

Trump wasn't shot, he was hit by glass. Which of course would make a huge difference in the death of the former firefighter in the audience.

Advertisement

Someone tried to assassinate President Joe Biden's opposition, and Trump came out of it looking like a boss. That's why it's so important that he wasn't "really" wounded. It was just a little piece of debris — no reason to feel sympathy for the guy.

Advertisement

Wait, we almost overlooked one very important and equally credible person:

Big, goofy, ludicrously oversized bandage. Forgive the guy for not getting shot in the head, OK?

He could use the money, seeing as he's starting up his own independent media empire.

***

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement