There has been some anticipation for the cinematic adaptation of the monster Broadway hit musical “Cats”. Partly it was the anticipation on the part of fans of the show. In another sector, however, was another level of excitement — for an impending disaster.
The film was directed by Tom Hooper, who directed Le Miserables, and initially this was believed to become a potential awards season darling. But then problems arose.
When the initial trailers came out it caused viewers to recoil or mock the ludicrous visuals. Then when the studio mandated that the digital effects be repaired and improved it meant the film would miss the release window to qualify for major awards. Also, there was little in the way of advance screenings, with an embargo on reviews being placed, which was not lifted until last night.
With all these bad signs it was with anticipation that we waited for the reviews — and WOW, have they been scathing. It is remarkable to see an avalanche of common thoughts flooding in at once.
Me watching #CATSmovie: WHY human faces and human hands? Why so small? What is Judi Dench’s fur coat made of? How do they poop? How did I get here? Why so boring? Who is responsible for this? What hath cat-manity wrought pic.twitter.com/z4b0ysQ800
— jen yamato (@jenyamato) December 19, 2019
True story: I got home after seeing CATS and couldn’t look my own cat in the face for a good hour or two
— jen yamato (@jenyamato) December 19, 2019
Glad to report that Cats is everything you’d hoped for and more: a mesmerisingly ugly fiasco that makes you feel like your brain is being eaten by a parasite. A viewing experience so stressful that it honestly brought on a migraine.
— Robbie Collin (@robbiereviews) December 19, 2019
I don't really know what to say about CATS at this early stage, since a perfectly credible reaction like "it's one of the worst pieces of art I've ever witnessed" can only sound like empty hyperbole. Maybe I should just wait a few months.
— Guy Lodge (@GuyLodge) December 19, 2019
They CGI all the dudes packages, but none of the women's breasts, so that was… a choice.
Also: Rebel Wilson doing fat jokes as a CGI cat eating CGI roaches was a thing I didn't know would haunt my nightmares FOREVER. #CatsMovie
— Yolanda Machado (@SassyMamainLA) December 19, 2019
There is just so much coming out at once, and so little of it is impressive. Even the positive reviews seem to be of the same attitude: “Well, it is crazy as hell, but some stuff is…”
Meanwhile, those panning the film have their claws out.
This headline for @peterhowellfilm's review of @catsmovie is ?? https://t.co/W9wHUbVcmo
— Brian Bradley (@brianjbradley) December 19, 2019
You may need to wade through her subtext there, but I think she panned the film.
And that was from a rave review.
Perhaps the best blurb of all came out of Ireland.
In his review of the film, Matt Singer may have explained it best just in his spoiler alert at the top of his piece.
By some definitions, this article contains some minor SPOILERS for Cats. But seeing as how I could not explain the specifics of the movie if my actual life depended on it, we’re talking seriously minor spoilers. Can you spoil something you do not understand on any level?
This editor even tried to assist him with the summation.
Since Matt did not provide his rating let me assist–
This review is a 2 hairballs, out of 5.
— Brad Slager: Tossing Others Under the Sleigh ? ? (@MartiniShark) December 19, 2019
Singer was kind enough to lend some clarity.
As for a rating, on a 0-5 scale, I give CATS an onion.
— Matt Singer (@mattsinger) December 19, 2019
And with that, heading over to Fandango right now!
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