Jamaal Bowman Pulls the Alarm: The NFL is 'Afraid' of Shedeur Sanders Because...
'Been Owed This for 5 Years'! Scott Jennings Calls Out Randi Weingarten's Lies...
Up Next for Dem Sen. Chris Van Hollen: Margaritas With Judge Dugan?
Massive Explosion Rocks Iranian Port of Bandar Abbas Causing Widespread Damage, Injuries (...
'This Is a Crime'! CNN Legal Analyst Throws a Wrench In Dems' Narrative...
Milwaukee Democrat Rep Encourages People to Obstruct ICE from Arresting Criminal Illegal A...
Scott Jennings Schools CNN Panelists on Why an Activist Judge’s Arrest Had to...
FOIA Revelation: Biden White House Labeled Libs of TikTok and Gays Against Groomers...
Ken Dilanian Loved Going After Trump but Thinks Arresting Judges Who Break the...
As More Activist Judges Get Arrested Let’s Remind Democrats that ‘No One Is...
Writer and Pop Culture Expert Says Draft Overlooking Shedeur Sanders is Like Whipping...
Epstein Accuser and Abuse Survivor Virginia Giuffre Found Dead by Suicide
Jamie Raskin is OUTRAGED that a Judge Could Face Justice for Allegedly Helping...
Kash Patel's 'No One Is Above the Law' Judicial Perp Walk Pic Is...
Guy Benson Questions 'Dill'-emma: Friend Ousted from Pickleball League Over Politics

Have You Tried Making Good Movies? Theater's Plan for Getting Customers Back Is a Box Office Bomb

imgflip

If there's a surefire way to make sure this writer -- who, according to her Letterboxd app, has watched 54 films this year alone -- never sets foot inside a theater again, some of the suggestions on this list will do it.

Advertisement

Movie theaters are struggling in a post-COVID lockdown (thanks, politicians!), woke Hollywood world where streaming services are ubiquitous.

So they're trying to come up with ways to entice viewers back into the seats:

More from The New York Pos(emphasis added):

They want butts in seats.

Years after the pandemic forced movie theaters across the country to close down — sending everyone home to their streaming devices — cinema chains are struggling to figure out how to bring audiences back.

And they’re looking at everything — from lifting strict anti-phone policies to raucous sing-alongs.

'We need to find a way to get people back into the habit of going to theaters,' John Fithian, co-founder of consulting firm The Fithian Group, told Variety. 'You can’t stay stuck in a 100-year-old way of doing business — that’s not going to work anymore.'

No, no, no, no, no.

This will actually hasten the demise of movie theaters. 

A couple of years ago, this writer saw 'Godzilla Minus One' in the theater and a woman kept pulling out her phone whenever the titular monster wasn't on the screen. Which was distracting in a movie where the dialogue is in Japanese and you have to read subtitles.

Advertisement

(Aside, 'Godzilla Minus One' is a great movie worth a watch).

Correct.

It's not that the '100-year-old way of doing business' doesn't work anymore, it's that there are too few good movies and too many disruptive viewers.

This is a common refrain.

Theaters could also buy and play classic movies -- imagine the killing they'd make if they played the 1937 animated 'Snow White' instead of the 'reimagined' trainwreck.

This writer also saw 'Interstellar' on its iMax re-release a few months ago. Theater was packed.

Or sing-alongs. Or weed policies. Or lax phone policies.

Exactly. And start casting celebrities who don't openly hate half the movie-going population.

Looking at you, Disney and Rachel Zegler.

Advertisement

BINGO.

You had to wait months, if not upwards of a year, for a movie to go to video.

Streaming is a big problem here, and if theatres don't demand longer periods before a movie drops on streaming, they will go out of business.

So would a lot of other people.

Worth a shot.

Editor's Note: President Trump is leading America into the "Golden Age" as Democrats try desperately to stop it.  

Help us continue reporting on President Trump's success. Join Twitchy VIP and use promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your membership.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos