Requiescat In Pace: World Leaders and Faithful Gather at the Vatican to Pay...
Jamaal Bowman Pulls the Alarm: The NFL is 'Afraid' of Shedeur Sanders Because...
'Been Owed This for 5 Years'! Scott Jennings Calls Out Randi Weingarten's Lies...
Up Next for Dem Sen. Chris Van Hollen: Margaritas With Judge Dugan?
Massive Explosion Rocks Iranian Port of Bandar Abbas Causing Widespread Damage, Injuries (...
'This Is a Crime'! CNN Legal Analyst Throws a Wrench In Dems' Narrative...
Milwaukee Democrat Rep Encourages People to Obstruct ICE from Arresting Criminal Illegal A...
Scott Jennings Schools CNN Panelists on Why an Activist Judge’s Arrest Had to...
FOIA Revelation: Biden White House Labeled Libs of TikTok and Gays Against Groomers...
Ken Dilanian Loved Going After Trump but Thinks Arresting Judges Who Break the...
As More Activist Judges Get Arrested Let’s Remind Democrats that ‘No One Is...
Writer and Pop Culture Expert Says Draft Overlooking Shedeur Sanders is Like Whipping...
Epstein Accuser and Abuse Survivor Virginia Giuffre Found Dead by Suicide
Jamie Raskin is OUTRAGED that a Judge Could Face Justice for Allegedly Helping...
Kash Patel's 'No One Is Above the Law' Judicial Perp Walk Pic Is...

POINTLESS: New Swiss Army Knife Will Be Knife-Free Due to 'Crime Waves'

Sarah D.

This seems unwise. When the word 'knife' is in your name and it's what you're known for, it seems a bad business decision to remove it from your product.

Advertisement

But what do we know? We're just a bunch of writers. So good luck.

More from CNN:

The maker of the Swiss Army Knife is working on a new version of the classic multi-tool, which won’t have a blade.

“We are in the early stages of developing pocket tools without blades,” a spokesperson for Swiss firm Victorinox told CNN in a statement Tuesday, adding that they will compliment the existing range of multi-tools rather than replacing them.

“With innovation at the core of our brand, we are constantly listening to our consumers and their needs; and acknowledge that there is an appetite for the functionality, versatility, and craftsmanship the Swiss Army Knife is known for in more specialized fields and situations,” said the spokesperson.

In news that will shock no one, concerns over 'knife crimes' is prompting this change.

And when criminals start stabbing people with screw drivers and forks, they'll ban those, too.

But alcohol is bad for you and toothpicks are sharp. Ban them!

Advertisement

But ruin it they will.

Excellent question.

And like the woke, it won't work, either.

Our money says no one.

And they'll just keep banning things until there's nothing left to ban.

Pretty much.

Decline is a choice.

Advertisement

Right?

Instead of, ya know, arresting and punishing the criminals.

Might help.

Businesses keep doing that.

You'd think they'd learn.

Apparently not.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos