Flashback: Here's Nancy Pelosi Singing a (D)ifferent Tune on China, Trade Deficits, and...
‘Hmmm’: Adam Kinzinger Suspicious There Are No Tariffs on Russia
What a Peach! Watch Unhinged Leftist Crow About 'No FEMA' for Tornado-Impacted Red...
Tim Walz's Magical Media Tour Continues! He Tells MSNBC Voters Regret Electing Trump...
Not Even CLOSE, Bud! The Hill Wants Us to Believe the Pendulum Is...
Only 19% of Baltimore Kids Are Proficient in Math, So the District Spends...
Jamie Raskin Calls Fed. Employees Patriots, Claims They Pass Up MANY Rich Jobs...
U.S. Bans Romantic Relationships Between Gov Workers and Chinese Citizens, Eric Swalwell H...
EPIC Post from GenZ'r Explaining Why He's NOT Worried About His 401K DECIMATES...
Now That the Border Is Secure It's Safe for Dems to Go (Tom...
NBC News Scrapes the Bottom of the Barrel to Get a Nurse's Opinion...
CNN's Abby Phillip Gets Fact Checked to Her Face!
HORSES**T! Stephanie Ruhle Tries Lecturing MAGA About What THEY Voted for but Dean...
Chuck Schumer Triggered By Elon Musk's Spot-On 1-Word Post About Dems Suing to...
Fauci's WIFE? LOL! So... ABOUT Those Higher-Up Firings at NIH, You May Have...

POINTLESS: New Swiss Army Knife Will Be Knife-Free Due to 'Crime Waves'

Sarah D.

This seems unwise. When the word 'knife' is in your name and it's what you're known for, it seems a bad business decision to remove it from your product.

Advertisement

But what do we know? We're just a bunch of writers. So good luck.

More from CNN:

The maker of the Swiss Army Knife is working on a new version of the classic multi-tool, which won’t have a blade.

“We are in the early stages of developing pocket tools without blades,” a spokesperson for Swiss firm Victorinox told CNN in a statement Tuesday, adding that they will compliment the existing range of multi-tools rather than replacing them.

“With innovation at the core of our brand, we are constantly listening to our consumers and their needs; and acknowledge that there is an appetite for the functionality, versatility, and craftsmanship the Swiss Army Knife is known for in more specialized fields and situations,” said the spokesperson.

In news that will shock no one, concerns over 'knife crimes' is prompting this change.

And when criminals start stabbing people with screw drivers and forks, they'll ban those, too.

But alcohol is bad for you and toothpicks are sharp. Ban them!

Advertisement

But ruin it they will.

Excellent question.

And like the woke, it won't work, either.

Our money says no one.

And they'll just keep banning things until there's nothing left to ban.

Pretty much.

Decline is a choice.

Advertisement

Right?

Instead of, ya know, arresting and punishing the criminals.

Might help.

Businesses keep doing that.

You'd think they'd learn.

Apparently not.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement