In a column for Newsbusters today, Chuck Norris (who is tougher than you) came out strongly against the Department of Education’s “Common Core” curriculum standards (CCSS). In criticizing this unprecedented federal reach into the classroom, Norris (who eats nails for breakfast) said, “The feds have abandoned their commitment to stay out of local academic affairs by using CCSS to usurp power over public schools and influence young American minds.”
Upon hearing of Norris’ declaration (which caused the ground itself to shake), tweeters immediately saw that this might be the end of Common Core as we know it.
Behold #chucknorrisedufacts:
Chuck Norris ate the apple that once surrounded the common core #chucknorrisedufacts
— Colum Whyte (@ColumWhyte) November 12, 2013
https://twitter.com/mpolikoff/status/400004629221871617
https://twitter.com/MrPABruno/status/400005368740593664
Standardized tests teach to Chuck Norris. #chucknorrisedufacts @MrPABruno @mpolikoff
— Jacob Waters (@jacobwaters) November 11, 2013
https://twitter.com/kenmlibby/status/400007061771419649
https://twitter.com/mpolikoff/status/400007911038267392
https://twitter.com/MrPABruno/status/400008429701709824
https://twitter.com/mpolikoff/status/400008794497122305
https://twitter.com/kenmlibby/status/400010699109576705
Testing is unnecessary because teachers, schools, districts, and states are already accountable to Chuck Norris. #chucknorrisedufacts
— Jacob Waters (@jacobwaters) November 11, 2013
Chuck Norris doesn't Race To The Top, he's already there #chucknorrisedufacts
— Andrew McEachin (@ajmceachin) November 11, 2013
Parent choice is irrelevant. All parents choose Chuck Norris #chucknorrisedufacts
— Matt Davidson ✊?✊? (@MATT_SONofDAVID) November 11, 2013
Proper backwards design starts from the essential question: What would Chuck Norris do? #chucknorrisedufacts
— Rob McEntarffer (@rmcenta) November 11, 2013
https://twitter.com/kenmlibby/status/400017958917136384
https://twitter.com/MrPABruno/status/400018506978447360
https://twitter.com/MrPABruno/status/400020725588717568
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on NAEP in all 50 states at the same time #chucknorrisedufacts
— Dan Sisco (@siscodan) November 11, 2013
Chuck Norris's tears can close the achievement gap. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries. #chucknorrisedufacts
— Dave Quinn (@EduQuinn) November 11, 2013
Chuck Norris can turn a school around with his bare hands #chucknorrisedufacts
— Andrew McEachin (@ajmceachin) November 11, 2013
Superman is waiting for Chuck Norris. #chucknorrisedufacts
— Gary Rubinstein (@garyrubinstein) November 11, 2013
Chuck Norris doesn't take tests. He stares at them until the answers reveal themselves. #chucknorrisedufacts
— AdvocacyLabs (@AdvocacyLabs) November 11, 2013
Chuck Norris opposes the Common Core because there is no standard for roundhouse kicks. #chucknorrisedufacts
— AdvocacyLabs (@AdvocacyLabs) November 12, 2013
https://twitter.com/kenmlibby/status/400060285802668032
https://twitter.com/brianwanlass/status/400063612355481600
Chuck Norris once put Humpty Dumpty back together again. He's now turning his attention to PARCC. #chucknorrisedufacts
— Andy Smarick (@smarick) November 12, 2013
The only close reading Chuck Norris knows is when he bear hugs a library into submission. #chucknorrisedufacts
— Andy Smarick (@smarick) November 12, 2013
Chuck Norris doesn't use close reading, just closed fist. #chucknorrisedufacts
— Chris Cerrone #BlackLivesMatter (@ChrisCerrone15) November 12, 2013
Chuck Norris knows 4×6=24. He doesn't need Common Core math tricks. #chucknorrisedufacts
— Chris Cerrone #BlackLivesMatter (@ChrisCerrone15) November 12, 2013
Is there anything Chuck Norris (whose veins pump liquid manliness) can’t do to totally devastate Common Core? Well…
https://twitter.com/mpolikoff/status/400008859676590080
Hey, even Superman had Kryptonite.
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